Damnation is loss of the soul. Loss of the soul must mean loss of the self and a self is lost when it is disintegrated into existential chaos. The demons' work is destruction, the returning of cosmic order to the black pool of nothingness. This may be what damnation is. There are many forces in the modern world that aid and abet this disintegration, preparing the ground one might say, and some of them are happily pursued by foolish people because they give a kind of false ecstasy as the moorings of the mind are loosened and a horrible freedom is offered, freedom from the boundaries of order. In music we have rap, electronic dance or rave music, heavy metal and punk. These all dissolve structure into chaos in a more or less brutal fashion in which the rational mind is aggressively broken down to a sub-human instinctual maelstrom. The examples of modern art and literature follow a slightly different, possibly more cerebral, course but to the same end. Order into chaos. This can potentially be valid if a new and higher order is formed from the chaos but that is a rare, very rare, thing, and is certainly not the goal of the examples I have cited. These are all to do with a sort of celebration of chaos. When you break boundaries there is an initial ecstasy as the freed energy flows out but it is soon dissipated and you have nothing left.
My experience was as follows. My next-door neighbour had a party in his garden. Only about 10 people but the houses share a wall and it might just as well have been in our garden. There was loud talking, music playing and raucous laughter. This neighbour is frequently noisy until late. The main group broke up around midnight so I thought I could go to bed but had to open the window because it was so hot. There were a few people left, talking and music still going. I put in ear plugs but could still hear them.
At around 1.15 I had had enough so stuck my head out of the window and asked them to go inside, none too politely I admit though I wasn't rude. They said they were talking about something important and it was none of my business. I should just shut my window. I said it was my business if they kept me awake and that I found their behaviour unbelievable. Besides, I could hear them even if the window was shut which would also make the room like an oven. Then I gave up and went back to bed. They carried on for another 20 minutes and finally left.
I suppose I got to sleep around 2. Then I had this very vivid dream. I dreamt they had come back again but this time with some other people and were making a lot of noise. I tried to put my head out of the window but it had been covered up with some material so I couldn't. Eventually I got the material off and put my head out to ask them to be quiet. As is the way in dreams the scene had changed slightly. The garden had moved a bit but the main thing was the people were now skeletons that glowed a lurid green colour. They mocked me and made more noise. Then they began attacking me psychically by which I mean they projected evil at me, some of which was expressed as this same lurid green in the form of 'dark light'. I can't describe it better than that, I'm afraid. The psychic attack grew stronger so I prayed to Jesus for protection. But when I tried to banish them in the name of Jesus Christ I couldn't say the words 'Jesus Christ'. It was as though my brain had been drenched in a kind of treacle which blocked it. Eventually, though, I succeeded and I found myself back in bed with them apparently gone.
But that wasn't the end of the dream/experience. While lying in bed I felt someone or something come in through the window with, of all things, (don't ask me to explain!) a supermarket trolley. This creature went through the room and downstairs where my two children sleep. I got up and followed it and found it outside their room with its trolley. I could clearly sense the aura of naked evil. It wasn't just bad. It was evil in a very pure way, dispassionate but absolute. Again, I tried to banish it using the name of Jesus and again, I couldn't get the words out. The thing began attacking me, not physically but on a spiritual level which I have known before and is very different as you feel as though something is trying to disintegrate your mind which will not function properly. Finally, I managed to call on the Masters, the teachers I describe in my book, and this thing was driven away. I knew I couldn't have dealt with it on my own. Then I woke up.
Now, a conventional psychologist would say that I had been disturbed by the neighbours and my mind made up this scenario as a result. I'm sure that had something to do with it but I am also convinced that is not all there is to it. I think the initial disturbed state created a kind of entry through which evil beings could attack. I am well aware most people would dismiss this as preposterous or else as evidence of mental derangement, even paranoia, but there was a very clear difference between this dream and the normal run of the mill sort, few of which I ever remember. This was more intense and vivid by several orders of magnitude. I was not particularly frightened because even in the dream world I find I can trust in God, but it was pretty terrifying purely as an objective experience.
But why was it allowed? I don't wish to self-dramatise and I have a suspicion that one is not supposed to talk very much about personal inner experiences, but maybe one of the reasons this happened to me is that I have this blog and can share such experiences so that if anyone reading encounters something similar they might know what to do. And what to do is very simple and very traditional. Call on Jesus Christ. You might find, as I did, that something tries to stop you doing this. In my dream my brain turned to mush but I called in my heart as well as my head and I was answered. I also realised my utter dependence on God. In your waking existence you can pretend this is not so but in the vulnerable sleep state where you are exposed to the psychic plane the room for self-deception and self-aggrandisement is very much reduced. Everything is more raw and open.
I reflected on the 'things' that attacked me and I came to the conclusion that they were more like things than beings with individual consciousness. The being in the second episode particularly just seemed to be a kind of embodied malevolence. After first appearing as a dark shadow, it took the form of an old friend of mine but the eyes were pools of dead malice. I believe that demons are lost souls that have had their individual selves hollowed out and have become vessels for evil in a ghastly parody of saints who can be vessels for God. The saint has offered himself in love to God and God fills him with himself. The lost soul has by his thoughts and behaviour given himself to the devil but instead of being filled by goodness and truth is taken over and used. It's as if the devil literally consumes them and then operates through them though he can only do so to the extent of their personal attainments of power, intelligence and such like. It's horrible to think of and I apologise for putting this thought out there but it may be a reality of the spiritual universe of which we should be aware.
As I was writing this I sudden realised that's exactly what the Nazgul were in The Lord of the Rings. As usual, Tolkien's spiritual instincts are pointing in the right direction. Then the figure of Weston occurred to me as described in C.S. Lewis' Perelandra where we are shown a human soul that has been taken over by the devil and entirely lost its humanity. Weston has become a 'thing'. His soul has been disintegrated and its life energies taken over by Satan.
There are many forces in the world today that are seeking to prepare us for spiritual dissolution, a dissolution that may well happen to those who have been sufficiently 'softened up' in this life after they depart this life. I have spoken of certain forms of music and art. Drugs are another obvious example but there are also ideologies that seek to reduce everything to a uniform oneness. Shun these like, for they are of, the devil. Focus on the Good, the Beautiful and the True which are necessarily hierarchical and separative, two words which have been given a bad connotation today but simply mean not everything is equal which it could not be for absolute equality can only exist in nothingness. Always aspire upwards. Do not deny or dismiss the lesser for it too is of God but know that things are closer to or further away from him. They are not all at the same distance even though he dwells in all things.
Evil is running riot all over the world today but we should not pay it too much attention. The manifestation of good conquers evil more effectively than actively fighting it. We should certainly be wise to evil but the more we focus on the good, the more we can help bring that out. I have written this piece because of an experience a couple of nights ago but I would like to end it by praising God who is the author of all good and who waits to welcome us into his kingdom if we will accept the invitation.