Can Meditation Make You Self-Satisfied?

Yes, it certainly can and often does. Here's an article in the Daily Telegraph that goes into the hows and whys of that a little. It is something that is well-known in monastic circles, and spiritual directors have always warned novices about the dangers of inflation, as it's called, but as meditation has entered the mainstream, often repackaged as mindfulness, its potential problems have been neglected.

The principal problem arises from the disconnect that has come about between 'spirituality' and religion. People take to meditation and other spiritual practices with the desire to gain something. They are in effect simply transferring their desire for consumer goods to the spiritual plane but it's exactly the same process at work. Wanting something to boost your sense of self. It doesn't matter if you become a vegan, live a simple life reducing your needs to the minimum and all the rest of it. Everything depends on motivation. A greedy, lustful winebibber with a fundamentally decent heart is closer to God than someone who eats next to nothing, practises austerities and meditates 4 hours a day but whose heart is not open to their Creator. Meditation only works in the way intended when it is balanced by a proper spiritual focus by which I do not mean a desire to achieve spiritual goals or gain spiritual gifts but a true dedication to God. Many results can arise from meditation which can be confused as spiritual but they really only relate to the psychic or supernatural, terms which properly refer the intermediate world that exists between the material and the true spiritual, the world of magic, occultism and most forms of what are regarded as higher consciousness, that is to say, consciousness released from the immediate restrictions of matter but not from ego.

I meditated for 21 years and it gave me a sense of detachment from this world which had its pros and cons. I consider I derived benefits from the pursuit but I now tend to believe that meditation, a bit like Buddhism in its original form, is something that should be practised by dedicated monks in the context of a religion with its own proper disciplines and moral structure. It can be practised outside of that scenario but then you have to be a very well-motivated and spiritually self-organised person to avoid its pitfalls, many of which can be grouped together under the umbrella of spiritual narcissism. It can be very hard to retain a proper perspective about oneself and life in general if one is constantly looking for spiritual experiences. Still harder if one gets them.

If I could say one thing to all meditators it would be this. The true spiritual path is not about higher states of consciousness. It has to do with the sanctification of the soul. It is not so much about transcending the sense of self as bringing that into complete alignment with God. You are not a spiritual person if you receive spiritual gifts. You are on the way to becoming one (always by the grace of God) if you can forego spiritual pleasure and accept spiritual pain, should it come, by increasing your dedication to God.

Renewing the Pagan in Me

I live just outside London and, though it is not the country proper, there are several local walks that take me into woods and onto downs and there is even a nature reserve not far away. I go for a walk every day, roughly an hour and a half in duration, but at the moment I can only walk in daylight at the weekend though I also enjoy tramping around in the dark especially when the moon is out or a clear sky shows lots of stars. 

A couple of weeks ago I went up onto Epsom Downs which is a large open grassy area on elevated ground. Because it is so open you get an excellent view of the sky and can take in its vastness so I spend a lot of time there just looking up. I saw this intriguing cloud formation.

It's Great Britain, isn't it? Floating up in the sky. Some of the Scottish islands even show up at the top. You could also, exercising some imagination admittedly, take the long thin strip of cloud beneath it as the Continent.

Last Saturday I went to the nature reserve mentioned above. To be honest, calling it a nature reserve is a bit of a stretch. It's really just some scrub and chalk grassland that has been reclaimed from abandoned playing fields but apparently the original field was mentioned in Magna Carta and artefacts dating back to the Neolithic and Bronze Ages have been found in the vicinity. Pottery, flints, that kind of thing. The current reserve is about 80 acres in size and there are often sheep and cattle grazing there. Skylarks can be seen too if you're lucky. But this time all I saw in the sky were some more clouds in the evening sun. "Hello" I said to myself, "It's the Himalayas over Surrey".

Well, it looked more like the sun on snow-capped peaks a few seconds before I took the photo.

I carried on with the circular walk around Priest Hill, as it is called, and came across a small group of cattle.

For some reason I took a fancy to the brown and white one and we exchanged a few pleasantries about the weather and if the grass was good. Then she lost interest and went back to her herbivorous duties. But she is pretty, isn't she? At least, I think she's a she.

The next day, Sunday, I got up early just before sunrise. Looking out of the window I saw a dramatic conflagration. It was a visual Gloria, the angels cheering the dawning of day. I thought of Phoebus Apollo hitching his chariot to the sun, the horses snorting and stamping their hooves, impatient for a headlong charge across the heavens.

Then shortly afterwards it began to snow. To go from fire to ice in a couple of hours was quite a contrast.

In the afternoon I went for a walk on the local common. It's called a common but is now more of a wood with mostly oak trees though there are many other varieties such as ash, birch, hazel and holly. It covers over 400 acres. There are a couple of large ponds, one built by medieval monks as a fish pond, and various forms of wildlife including roe deer which can be seen occasionally if you are quiet. There are adders and grass snakes and several birds species amongst which are yellowhammers in the right season which is not now. The ponds are visited by heron, grebes, geese, ducks and teal and, though I've never seen one there, kingfishers too, by repute anyway.

The Great Pond built by monks (photo not taken by me yesterday)

There wasn't much to be seen yesterday though I did hear owls in the late afternoon. The ground had recently been very soggy because of all the rain we've been having but the snow and freezing temperature had made it quite hard and pleasant to walk on. The inclement weather also seemed to have deterred other walkers for I saw hardly anyone else out.

There is a particular tree on this walk that I have decided is the Lord of the Forest. He stands a little taller than the others but it is not that which gives him his air of authority. He seems to spread further and be planted more deeply than those around him. Other trees stand back from him a little, respectfully giving him the extra space he merits. On a couple of occasions I have asked for his advice, talking not just to him but to the Creator through him. I once asked him for a boon to do with my family and felt I should make an offering of some kind. All I had in my pocket was a pencil and a handkerchief so I gave him the pencil, throwing it in his direction. The boon has not yet been granted but I know these things work out in their own way and their own time.

I don't know if readers find this sort of thing foolish or superstitious but I can understand our ancestors worshipping objects of nature. For the wiser among them these objects might have been important not so much for themselves but as mediums through which to access spirit. If, as this tree seems to do, they carry some special quality, if they manifest some almost archetypal power, they can be channels to the divine world.  I don't live in a world of original participation when Man and Nature were not fully separated out, but I can sympathise with that state and, while realising the impossibility, indeed spiritual error, of trying to recapture it, still believe that we should attempt to perceive the immanence of nature, the presence in created objects of their spiritual origin. If I talk to the tree I am really using the tree to talk to God. The tree is not an idol, sacred in itself, but something like an icon, a focal point for the divine and a way through this world to a higher one.

Things to Come

 To all those concerned about current political events, I would say, don't be. The world situation has long been such that no external help can be expected. In fact, it is not even desirable because what is happening today is a spiritual test. In times that are orientated towards a true vision of God, there is no particular test. But we are now expected to maintain a connection to truth inwardly even when it is dismissed as a lie and an illusion.

Do you really think that if Donald Trump had won the recent American election things would have been much different spiritually? Some of the more obvious desecrations of the human spirit might not have happened as quickly as they probably will, but the general trend would not have changed.The ongoing destruction of truth would have continued. Are we any better off in that respect than 4 years ago? Of course not. We are worse off. The only question is whether we would have been even worse off than we are. I'm sure we would have been but it's only a relative thing.

I'm not saying it doesn't matter who wins elections but it doesn't matter much now. There is no political knight in shining armour and there is not meant to be. I repeat. Now is a time for holding fast to truth when it has been abandoned outwardly. Don't expect someone else to save you. You have to save yourself. This is your responsibility. Don't waste your energies and passions on political matters. Focus on the spiritual and understand that when you do that you have to make sacrifices and you have to expect suffering. There is no way round this. Spiritual paths that don't involve sacrifice and suffering are not ones that lead to God.

Rejoice that the secular world is now truly revealed as one of complete lies. As long as you thought truth might win, you would still be involved in the world. I'm not saying you should abandon the world or cease to proclaim truth but don't expect many people to listen or imagine  that the current situation will get any better. Our job, those of us who wish to serve God, is to reach out to individuals. The world may fall into darkness but in that darkness light will shine more brightly.

No doubt false saviours will arise even now. They will say "Follow me, believe in me and all will be well." Don't be misled. God does not want his children to remain children and he is not going to send a leader to whom we can hand over our responsibility. You must be your own leader. Of course, there will be those who can offer guidance but this guidance is only there to push you in the direction you already want to go. You should not expect your guides to do more than this and any who claim they can should be ignored. God will guide you from within your own heart if you allow him to do so which means stand ready in humility and love of truth and goodness.

The future is likely to be a global totalitarianism with a humanitarian veneer. It may incorporate the notion of God but it will deny all that is real about God. In the West (I don't know about the East) everything that does not actively stand against this will be incorporated into it. No one will be able to stand on the sidelines. No one will be allowed to be neutral. The only thing that can withstand this takeover of the soul, for that is what it is, is Christ. Other forms of spirituality will not be strong enough to resist evil, defined here as rejection of God and the laws of Creation. Those who practise them will be swept up into the over-arching anti-spiritual belief system in which Man is basically his own God and makes his own reality. Only those who remain faithful to Christ can hold out against this because only they will have the strength to resist, a strength given them by the supreme reality of Christ.

Recent events should have taught serious Christians or anyone correctly orientated to spiritual reality not to expect salvation from the outer world. I am neither a pessimist nor a defeatist. There is great hope for the future but this will manifest on the spiritual plane and only those who dedicate themselves to the truth of God will realise it. But it is not going to be a collective thing. Everything now is down to the individual.

Unity and Division

 We all know, we can all sense, that something very powerful is in the air. There are obvious outer signs, as in plagues and political turmoil, but the real crisis is spiritual. The sifting process of sheep and goats is well under way. Now, divisions are going to increase and all those who call out for unity, thinking that unity is necessarily a good thing are going to be disappointed. There cannot be unity between good and evil, right and wrong, truth and falsehood, and these things are being separated out. We are experiencing a ratcheting up of spiritual tension, perhaps even the prophesied time when members of the same household will look at each other with incomprehension and deep hostility, when, according to Luke 12:53, "They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” See here, for instance.

Modern forms of spirituality always emphasis unity. And, in many circumstances, unity is undoubtedly a good thing. The attempt to overcome division and reach a point of mutual understanding is right and proper, but only when division is superficial. When, as increasingly now, it is fundamental, you reach a point when to talk of unity is naive foolishness. When too much has to be sacrificed to reach unity, what good is it? We live in a world of darkness in which powerful forces work against God and creation. There cannot be unity in such a world. Unity can and should be reached between such complementary things as man and woman but not between opposites which are mutually exclusive.

However, if division is inevitable we must try to avoid some of the usual consequences of division. Anger and hatred are also increasing now it seems. We must try very hard not to succumb to these because they will turn good to evil. We may be directed towards God in our minds but if our hearts are full of hatred then our true orientation is in the other direction. This is why we are told to love our enemies. Not so much for their sake as for our own. We must not let ourselves be poisoned by our resistance to evil. Recognise it, denounce it, fight it but do not let it into your own heart. I say this because I see the tendency in myself and I know it is wrong. We need Christ to discern truth from lies and we also need him to show us us to respond to the lies.

Showing My True Colours

 It was recently brought to my attention that I have been trading under a false flag as the photograph on the right hand side of the blog did not represent what I look like now. Understandably, given it was taken about 10 years ago around the time I wrote Meeting the Masters since when time has taken its toll. So I have replaced that version with the most recent photo I have though that has a lockdown beard which has now gone and I don't normally look quite so glum. But I never could smile for the camera.

You might ask why I include a photograph of myself at all. The reason is similar to why I use my real name online. I think people reading the blog should know who they are dealing with, and a person's face does say something about that person. This seems particularly appropriate at the present time when faces and the vital human element they represent are being increasingly banned from public view.

Intuition, the Only True Knowledge

Spiritual knowledge comes from spiritual perception. It is not acquired through reason or deduction or calculation or even thought as ordinarily understood. It is intuitive. It is knowing by seeing. Seeing with the mind but from the heart. It is the very opposite to what drives much thinking in the world today which is ideological, meaning the mind attaches itself to an idea and frames its thought around that. Ideology is a kind of dark distortion or inversion of intuition, a false perception heavily contaminated by opinion, desire, resentment, envy and a host of other fixations and disturbances of the lower mind, the lower mind being the mind that can only operate in the material world because it is closed to the transcendent.

To the person whose intuitive powers are unawakened and whose natural instincts have been suppressed, which is most people today, someone who experiences the world through intuition might appear eccentric, even mad. But it is like an individual who only sees in black and white denying colour. "Look at the reds, blues and oranges!" "What do you mean? It's all shades of gray." Intuition is not a quality only accessible to a privileged few. It is open to all but it must be developed. It starts off in a small way but eventually becomes the dominant mode of cognition as one opens oneself up to the reality it reveals. However, it can be parodied by the spiritually undeveloped mind and it can also be imitated by those who, recognising its significance, desire it but have not sufficiently purified their soul of spiritual greed and worldliness. And even genuine intuition is often mixed up with lower level impulses, thoughts, prejudices, desires and the like which it is the spiritual disciple's job to become aware of and clean up.

The development of intuition is the most important task for any spiritual aspirant. However religious you are in terms of faith, however many good works you do, however much you may pray or meditate or whatever practise you engage in to become more aware of higher reality, whatever metaphysical knowledge you may possess, if you have not properly developed intuition you are on the outside looking in and therefore cannot truly be called a person of spiritual understanding. Of course, none of us can be called that really but there are degrees of understanding in the context of this world and so, within that context, this proviso can apply. Every state of being can be described in terms of its means of apprehension of reality. The animal state is instinctive, the human state is mental (intellectual/rational). The spiritual state is intuitive. Develop intuition and you see the world for what it is. Fail to do so and you remain in ignorance, however clever you might be.

I've written about intuition several times before but I bring it up now because it is more important than ever in the context of what is happening in the world today. With regard to the lockdowns, the goals behind the climate change agenda, the American election and many of the fashionable dogmas of modern thought (I really should put scare quotes around that), intuition tells you, even without common sense, direct evidence and reason, that officially sanctioned opinion is wrong and that the truth is elsewhere. And why would it not be? Look at the people peddling these stories in politics and the media. You can see that their hearts and minds and wills are are in no way aligned with God and his purpose for creation. This affects an individual's relationship with truth. It sours his soul and cuts him off from intuition. He will believe what suits him not what actually is. Of course, that accusation is levelled by such people against those who oppose them but the key difference is love. If you love truth, you will know it. Love and intuition are actually closely related, being two sides of the same spiritual coin, two attributes of a soul turned towards God. Too many people in the world today have rejected God and do not love truth.

Don't Lose Sight of the True Goal

 There is a danger that people at the moment may define spirituality in terms of resistance to what is going on in the world. More or less all of what is going on is clearly inspired by what we may call, somewhat melodramatically perhaps but accurately, the dark powers. Of that there is no doubt. Aided and abetted by their countless foot soldiers, who, incidentally, will be eaten up and swallowed when they've served their purpose, evil is all around us at the moment, setting the agenda and smearing and crushing all opposition. 

However, resistance to it can lead one into ego-centred, anti-spiritual behaviour if you allow yourself to be diverted from a proper focus on God and the spiritual path into the attempt to engage in some kind of counter-revolution on the worldly plane. Then  you become caught up in a spiral of action and reaction, all of which is determined by the devil who is only to happy if you fight him on his own battleground using the weapons he has chosen. 

In that case you are externalising the spiritual battle which really should be taking place on the level of your own soul. This doesn't mean you let evil get its way. You must stand against it but if you fight fire with fire you just create a big conflagration. There are two things you should do. First of all, try to clear your own heart as much as possible of anger and hatred. This is hard when faced with obvious evil but it must be done. At least, you must try to objectify the anger and hatred, experience it but not let it sway your mind or dominate your emotions. Keep it at a distance without getting enmeshed in it. 

Then you do as Jesus did which was not to fight evil directly on its own level but demonstrate good. Don't be drawn into evil by evil. That's what it wants because then it's got you. This must be why Jesus said "Resist not evil" which is an often misunderstood instruction. It doesn't mean you should ignore evil but that you should not let it into your heart even when you are confronting it. But you should confront it as Jesus did when he overthrew the moneylenders' tables at the temple. That demonstrates that there's no one size fits all approach to this matter. Different situations demand different responses.

What happens in the world is important but only to the extent that it reflects what happens in the hearts of individuals. You have been given one major task in this life. That is to perfect your own soul or, if perfect is too strong a word, to direct it Godwards at all times and in all circumstances. Don't be distracted from that task by outrage at what is taking place in the world. Do what you can when you can but always keep your eyes on the true goal which is the salvation of your own soul. The battle is primarily spiritual.

Jesus did not come to make this world into heaven. He came to show us the way to heaven. We should certainly try to make this world as good as it can be, if for no other reason than to make it somewhere conducive to the spiritual path, but we should not make the mistake of focusing all our energies on life in this world even in times as dark as these.